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'Let's see, it says here that you've had a lot of corporate accounting experience...'

'Callers will be answered in the order of their Fortune 500 ranking.'

'Do you realize that the country has one vice president and we have eleven?'

'I realise you've only been working here for six weeks, but our company has lost $2.4 billion, and you're the fall guy!'

Chairman.

Outsourcing- Downsizing- Offshoring.

"My new years resolution was to delegate more. . . so I delegated chasing unachievable targets with massively reduced resources to George."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

"I'll tell you what I'm looking for! I'm looking for a yes man, Jenson. Do you think you could fit that bill?"

"People, the facts are inescapable. Any ideas on how we can ignore them?"

"I'm not the responsible party. I have people for that."

"So we all agree to reduce our company motto to 'It was the least we could do'?"

Bribes.

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

'But the good news is: with each downsizing, you qualify for frequent fired 'discount' points.'

'So this is the company's new mission statement.'

"Get someone to make the slot bigger."

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

"We're looking for people to fire."

'On the agenda for this meeting is sick leave...'

"Thank God your mother didn't live to see what you've become."

"Budget Cuts."

NOW HIRING SECRETARY, 'Oh, what the heck -- typing is overrated anyway.'

"When the going gets tough, the tough get a government handout."

The COMPANY is always right.