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'Smith, our clients' clients can't pay them, so our clients can't pay us, so we can't pay you... so we're laying you off...'

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"It all looks fine to me."

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

Personally, I always had a feeling we'd land on our feet.

"It's not downsizing—it's just that we have 976 employees who have chosen to spend more time with their families."

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

"I hear you've got quite a reputation with the girls around the office."

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

"Congratulations. I'm promoting you from 'Yes Man' to 'Vice President in Charge of Affirmation.'"

"The first chart is pre-Prozac and this chart is post-Prozac ... "

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

"The floor is open for suggestions."

'You understand, Yomp, it's not me speaking. It's the corporation!'

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

'I talk the talk but I don't walk the walk.'

"Of course I'm making things worse. Do you think I'd work for what you're paying me if I knew how to make things better?"

"We could hire some sign-wavers to stand by the side of the road and advertise our product."

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

"Good news - we're merging with Pinetree Pharma. They make the cures for all the harm our drugs do."

Cut-throat Environment

Coca-Cola Inc: 'Gentlemen, is it too late to be bailed out for 'NEW' Coke?'

"My plan moving forward involves fire and Brazilian passports."

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.