Business Philosophy Buff Mugs

"I've finally learned not to measure my worth by how many employees I have."

Think Big: 'It's too small!'

'That's our mission statement.'

'Well, I suppose it does sum up our business philosophy. But, as a corporate identity I don't think it'll work.'

Control in the workplace.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'It's come to my notice, Simpson, that YOU'RE the glitch in the system.'

Genius

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'