Business Philosophers Pillows

Micromanage / Nanomanage

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

Genius

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

'I say, let's not be hasty in enforcing the mandatory retirement age.'

Worked Well In Groups...

"I'm Kurt... this brochure will explain the rest."

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

"Leadership is about more than delegating all of your work."

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."