Business Efficiency Guru T-Shirts

'I'll get to your project as soon as I'm caught up.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

The MBA Draft

Work Parfait

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

Career opportunities

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

Motivation to work

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

"Uh-Oh..."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

Fact: The average person spends 4.3 hours per week looking for things that are misplaced, misfiled or mislabeled.

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

Early Business Planning