Budgeting Genius Pillows

'To save money, Bob started making his own wine. This Chablis, for example, only cost him $329 a bottle.'

"Our boycotts are saving us a ton of money."

Do you think I would have made a good economist?

'If people are supposed to live within their means, why are there such things as overdrafts?'

"We could save a lot if we move the wedding to the front yard and document it with the doorbell camera."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

"Your expense account ain't what it used to be. There's not enough money on your card to cover the $5.35."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

Investing your savings

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

"What comes after zillion?"

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

Blowing dust off an order book.

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

"No, unfortunately I won't be raising your debt ceiling."

Small Businesses Go Under.

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'