Budgeting Aficionado T-Shirts

Your Pizza Dollar

'I need $50.' - '$40? What do you need $30 for?'

Two Retirement Options

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

'The attack will have to wait until tomorrow Congressman. Today is furlough day. . .'

"Never go grocery shopping on an empty stomach. And never go shopping for shoes on a full credit card."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

"Your expense account ain't what it used to be. There's not enough money on your card to cover the $5.35."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

Investing your savings

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"What comes after zillion?"

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

Blowing dust off an order book.

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

"No, unfortunately I won't be raising your debt ceiling."

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

Small Businesses Go Under.

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"