Budget Voyager Pillows

'Have you read the surcharges list, 1% on sunglasses, 2.5% on suntan lotion, 3% on swimming trucks, no charge on trashy novels under 2oz.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

'He must be going economy!'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

"Run around outside? What year do you think this is - 1990?"

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

Expensive greeting cards.

John Lee Dotkomm palys the 'Broker's Blues

"It's a hybrid!"

"Wow! I knew you were rich, but I didn't know you were that rich!"

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

Europe on $5000 a day.

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess

Parts of an automobile

Beachcomber sees that smartphone displays 'message in a bottle.'