Budget-conscious Patients T-Shirts

'Let's begin your exam with a simple coordination test. Swipe your credit card.'

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Doc, my arm is killing me, but I don't know how I can afford care. My deductible is through the roof and I just got laid off my job."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

"It's the hospital board performing surgery on the budget."

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

Man bites on stick - "That other painkilling method is of course a lot more expensive."

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

BBC repeats are for life not just Christmas.

Affordable housing

'This is going to hurt, I'm afraid. . .I can't afford to pay.'

Low income vampires.

Sam's Nation Building

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"I'm going to prescribe a generic placebo."

"It's elective surgery. Shouldn't I get a discount for the time you save not dealing with insurance forms?"

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

'Doc, before you jab it to me, what's the sticker price?'

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

'This pill you take twice a day before meals. . . this pill you take right after I tell you what those pills cost.'

The management consultants recommended the use of more portable technology on the wards...but we couldn't afford laptops.'

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

"I can't afford probiotics . . . How much amateurbiotics?"

'The armed forces are having to respond to new kinds of threat.'

"Get used to it...I think we're going to be eating them for a while yet..."