Browsing Sales Pillows

Let's go inside. And remember: Your internet shopping habits won't help you here. Mall. Huh? What're you wearing? You look ridiculous. It's nothing. Let's head into Target. It's a midweek sale. If we get separated, I'll bring you a medic. Uh, okay. Medic? In-person shopping melee! Medic. Soft-underbellied e-commerc shopper in aisle two! Where am I? Can I return to my homepage?

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

Larry's used art

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Cut Price

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Lethal Presentation

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

Sales chart is buildings in background.

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

SALE

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'