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Pirate Radio

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Pirate

'If only every year was an election year.'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Dialogue

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

Local News in Heaven

'Och lye the news'

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

Malcolm Sargent

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

'NBC has revealed plans for a new, humorous version of The Office.'

"Our next story should interest all our viewers...it's a real can of worms."

"Cap'n FancyPants got himself an i-Patch."

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

"The enemy of the people!"

Sports Radio in Crisis

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

"This just in: you thought joy was within reach, but you were wrong."

'BBC Training course' "Repeat after me"

Ian Hislop

Barry Norman

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'