British Film Lover Pillows

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Bloody hell!"

"The Eggsorcist"

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"Housekeeping?!"

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"Downton Abbey Road"

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Kirsten Johnson

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

Star Wars Audience

Tom Hanks

Hooray for Bollywood!

Cinéma Vérité

"How come there's no feel-good performance art?"