British Art Aficionado Gifts

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

You're my Mona Lisa.

Copycats

Benedict Cumberbatch

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Paul Klee

Cariactures

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

(Camel paintings)

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

German Expressionist Breakfast

Horti-Culture

"Mr. Right!"

"Well....I could've done this!"

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

Distractions Of The Great

Baroque Peacock

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

Misunderstood artist

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Spring Training

"You're my Mona Lisa."

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

Painting taking root...

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.