Breakfast Philosopher Pillows

'Sometimes I think you don't listen to a word I say!'

Milk carton reads: HAVE YOU SEEN ME? I'm the man you thought you elected to office

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

"Why can't you hide behind a newspaper at breakfast like any normal man?"

'.....sunnyside down.'

'You think I don't like oatmeal predicated on the fact that I haven't had it in forty-seven years but there is no substantial reason based solely on breakfast choices I might have made in front of or to you for you to make that assumption.'

Moral Fruit and Fiber Cereal

A recent scientific study has concluded that toast and marmalade may be hazardous to your health.

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

Sophie missed the days when husbands hid behind the newspaper at breakfast.

Generally newspapers are indicators of breakfast food or the possibility of feces...but I know there was some sort of rolled up clause in here.

'The newspaper strike hasn't affected you at all, has it?'

Cruncho Cereal with moral fiber.

"High in fibre, low in salt and saturated fats. Unfortunately that's the box, the cereal is full of all sorts of crap!"

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

Atlantis Missing

"Say the egg didn't come back - then what?"

'If breakfast is the most important meal of the day, doesn't it make sense to wait until lunch before you eat?'

Crisis Crunches - The Now Cereal

"If I don't escape now, I'm toast!"

An awareness of the human condition momentarily held up the breakfast preparations.

'It's the darnedest thing -- last night I dreamed I was eating shredded wheat.'

My musical breakfast

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."

"Damn. Isn't that the kid you swallowed?"

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

"None of this news seems 'fit to print' to me!"

Fatalism and the Seeds of Doubt

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

"Well did he?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."