Breakfast Foods Pillows

True Humility - Curate's Egg.

"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

"Sorry, I don't date older men."

'I know you like Corn Twisters cereal, Derek, but Daddy needs them for his gas tank.'

The greenhouse effect sometimes acts in strange ways

"Omelets?! Are you crazy? Pete's Pancake Palace didn't get where it is today by diluting its brand!"

"Our French chef just quit, so instead of the crepes you ordered, I made a breakfast burrito."

Goodbye Gruel World

Grim Reaper

"Can I have some pancakes and syrup with that waffle please?"

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

"What's healthy about breakfast cereals?"

Toast Pops Out of Piggy Bank.

'Oh yeah, really healthy! You do realize that cereal is just another soy based product?'

'La police - c'est moi!'

Three bears porridge oats.

The Backs Of Adult Cereal Boxes

'How would you like your egss, same price.' 'Okay with bacon and tomato.'

'A wee bowl of porridge can set you up for the day!'

'Big turnover at center ice! Mmm...looks delicious.'

'This has no fat, no carbohydrates, no sugar, no ribolflavin... hey this box is empty!'

'AAAGH!!! I'm just messing with you Mr. Jenkins, that didn't hurt at all.'

Bagel problems.

The House of Java Cafe was suddenly a house divided. The humble establishment had been divided into faith-based and non-faith-based seating. Heathen! Blasphemer! Cereal-eater! Judgmental scone-lover! You have no values. You have even less! And some walking a not-so-delicate line down the middle. You're all stinkin' losers!

Diner. We're out of link sausages. Are patties okay? Any pork in a storm!

Some politicians try to lose weight when they run for office. Must be tough with one waffle after another!

Sugar Maple: Regular/Calorie-Reduced

Tartine

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."