Branding Professional Prints

"Note to team: set your sights higher when formulating the mission statement."

'I'd add 'UK' to your name and do it in big red letters. . . that'll be £15,000.'

"If I had a restaurant, it would be called the Can and Microwave"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Important Food Groups

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

US v.s. Tech Giants

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

'We've re-branded.'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"It lost a little something in translation."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

A balloon seller is selling thought bubble balloons

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

"I go that extra mile!"

"When we changed the company name, the stocks went through the roof!"

'Now I know why they threw in the printer for free. It's only got a resolution of one dot per 8 12 inches.'