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"I don't know - none of these cookies offer an engaging brand narrative."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'How fast can you hype?'

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

'We've re-branded.'

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

"When we changed the company name, the stocks went through the roof!"

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

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"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

'The kids want a new motto: instead of 'slow but sure' they've come up with 'fast and funky'.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

Of course, we have to begin with certain assumptions. Let's assume I'm right and you're wrong.

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

"Right, I think I'll call it fire, now I just need to work out how to monetise it

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy