Bookworm Seeking Peace Gifts

'Could you guys do your bungee jumping somewhere else?'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

hard-boiled egg...

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

K9 Literati

The Da Vinci Cod

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

A man reading 'Beach Chairs for Dummies'

"Read the book!""See the movie!"

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

A man uses a reaching tool to keep a book far enough out for him to read it.

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

The book is so much better than the film..

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

A dead plant in the environment section.

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

Pastoring for Dummies

The Colonel at home.

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."

Cat Gag Gifts

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

Man reading in lamp

'Let's face it, we've been getting desperate for new titles.'