Bookstore Clerk Mugs

"No, I don't have a scanner you can borrow."

"Do you have any why-to books?"

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

Customer: 'I'm looking for books to help me overcome my fear of mice and snakes.' Clerk: 'Oh. Eeeee-Books?'

"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."

"Have you tried looking in the ocean?"

'What have you got on how to apply for Government handouts?'

Book Shop

'I can't find the 'Where's Waldo' books.'

'Can you help me find a book I saw here a few months ago? It was a hardcover...and...lots of pages inside. Do you have any like that?'

'...we don't accept credit cards on that particular book.'

'...You haven't seen what I've done with the BOTM yet...'

'Does my posterior appear oversized in this?'

"Do you have anything for people who aren't dummies."

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

'Got anything on happy marriages?'

'I'm afraid you can't return this for a refund, sir -- the corners have been chewed off.'

Bookstore.

Pulp fiction on bookshelf dripping into bucket.

"How many books can I fit between these bookends?"

"You'll find the book 'Corporate Discipline In Three Easy Steps" in the fiction department."

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

"Where can I find 'Self-Help' and 'Spirituality'?"

audiobooks...

"'50 Shades of Grey?' - Oh you mean the 'Guide to Modern Music...'"

A man sitting in the grass reading

Bookstore Information. Where are your books on tape? Let me check. I'm sure we stuck them around here somewhere.

"Would you really want to read a book by a comedian that didn't have wide margins?"

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

"It's for a young woman in the generation that knows how to read but doesn't feel like it."

"Do you have 'The Oxford Companion to Real Estate'?"

"I'm looking for a book on ESP..." "I know..."

Bookstore. World Ends Tomorrow. Books for Doomies.

Seriously, we don't have any "selfie-help" books.

Book Store. Information. In what section would I find guides to government regulations? "Books on Red Tape".