Bookish Rebel T-Shirts

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

"Some Debussy, Igor."

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

Marcel Proust

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

"Wow - A flying Chaucer!!"

Reading in the family.

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

Man read's Newton's 'Philosophiae Naturalis Principa Mathematica' and says: 'Blimey Isaac, this is, er, pretty heavy stuff.'

'In my opinion the series should have stopped after the first 3 books.'

John Galsworthy

"Hmmm... there's something not right here..."

"That's a beautiful poem, but of course, if you took the road less traveled, we'd make sure you have your GPS."

Bestsellers have sold so well there are none at all on the shelves.

Theory of Gravity

Major Poets, Minor Poets, Free Agents.

"As your first novel, it starts out badly and just falls away!"

The Human Ape.

(The really ugly duckling)

Trilby - 'I will not! I will not!'