Book Writing T-Shirts

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

'We recommend you not go on tour to promote your self-help investment book.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Bond James, Bond."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'How fast can you hype?'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Squeezing the Free Press.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Campaign for Plain English

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet