Book Lovers With A Sense Of Humor Mugs

How to Meet Sluts.

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

Multi-Generational Books

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'He was a great writer'

Tequila Mockingbird

So You've Cloned Yourself

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

Plagiarism by Billy Widmore It was the best of times it was the worst of times. Four score and seven years ago, Quoted the raven nevermore...

"I love you, I'll follow you to the ends of the earth, but I'm through getting slippers for someone who hasn't published anything since 1997."

The Month of August

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

The Farmer Sutra.

RETURN BOOKS HERE, 'I'm sorry, sir -- all our books on Houdini have disappeared.'

'Okey, suit yourself but I saw the library book move.'

"Dear, when was the last time you just winged it?"

Book signing The Art Of Forgery - "Gee thanks, Oprah Winfrey."

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

'Oh-oh -- I think I've invented writer's block!'

"I was able to get you a 2-book deal."

'He doesn't want to play doctors and nurses anymore - He just wants to play Harry Potter!'

Possible Titles For My Upcoming Autobiography

Erasmus

'I stole it from the library.'

I am prepared to unveil by brilliant innovation. Is it an MP3 player? It's a self-help book. A simple way for readers to achieve instant happiness. You? What do you know about happiness? You're miserable and you make other people miserable. Wrong! People will get happy or I'll kick their keisters! Uplifting.

"The Seven Warning Signs of Seven Warning Signs"

"Security was too tight to try and nick one of those Harry Potter books so we went and crashed Prince William's 21st instead."

Scents and Scentsibility. Jane Austen.

"It's an oughtobiography...."

How to avoid a heart attack.

'I'm afraid you're a little late for the book signing, Mr. Dickens.'

Spice Up Your Conversation - Quote Yourself...

'Ooh, I'm getting a text.'

Sleeping man uses his beard as a book mark.