Book Distributor Prints

"When did you first become interested in e-publishing?"

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Squeezing the Free Press.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

First Novels.

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

The Dorrie Decimal System

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Gay Times...

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Blue Stockings - Female poet who has not sold any of her books

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

Letters escape from a caged book.