Boardroom Blitzers Pillows

'Miss Bondwell will now illustrate us how to make boring board meetings a thing of the past.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

"We've had a major development this year that I'm excited to share with the employees."

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

'Dog eat dog.'

"Oh good, you brought Robert's rules of order."

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

"I have an obligation to the stockholders, not the employees!"

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'You're closer to the Big Guy than anyone. Will you help us kill him?'

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

"It's strictly business. Please don't take your financial ruin personally."

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

"Does it ever cross your mind that we make a lot of money because no one else wants to do what we do?"

Executive puts on brave face for board meeting.

"I'm tired of being used as a scapegoat."