Boardroom Bear Pillows

Acme Toys Ltd

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

'Thank you, Leo. Nothing like a roar to get us going in the morning.'

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

"However, we're doing rather well, according to uninformed sources."

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

Our parent company is not pleased with our work. They want all of us to register for a few remedial MBA courses.

'At that point the meeting became chaotic, as everyone's medication seemed to wear off at the same time.'

"Are you sending emails or ZZZ mails?"

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

Business of Finger-pointing

'Drop dead. Well that's good start to our negotiations.'

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

'The answer is still no. I may look like a pushover, but I'm not.'

'We were able to make a quick alliance together because of common insecurities.'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

"Well it looks like we're all here."

"Irma, cancel all my appointments for the next 3 weeks, I need to go home to brood. Tell the board to only contact me on my mobile phone..."

Corporate pirate.

"So we actually can agree on something...rolled sleeves, loose ties, and no jackets!"

Paul exhibits a classic symptom of Attention-Surplus Disorder.

'I miss the rarefied atmosphere of Mt. Olympus.'

'This should soothe any hurt feelings.'

"I'd rather be at the office."

'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'