Boarding House Manager Pillows

Am Awful Crammer.

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"I had to skip my workout."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

Sick Building Syndrome

Caution signs.

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

Fire door.

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"Of course I'm making things worse. Do you think I'd work for what you're paying me if I knew how to make things better?"

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

"Irma, cancel all my appointments for the next 3 weeks, I need to go home to brood. Tell the board to only contact me on my mobile phone..."

"That pigeon's at it again."

'Our Monday night '90-off wine night' isn't exactly working wonders for Tuesday thru Saturday.'

Access Assessments

Joe's Bar, Under New Joe!

'You've had enough!'

'Now that you're hired, our Housing Coordinator will show you to the bunkhouse.'

'For the last time, how Club Tropicana makes a profit if the drinks are free isn't your problem.'

"Long time no see, Mr. Jimmy. I understand congratulations are in order on your recent engagement, wedding and divorce."

I'm going out for a while. Keep an eye on things.

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

'I'm worried that I might have slept through my 'fifteen minutes of fame'.'

"How's that pub landlord thing working out?"

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

"It's the worst case of Sick Building Syndrome I've ever seen!"

'Well I'm not sure, Lady. This place is full of Bums.'

"You know what you're running here, Lou? You're running a haven, that's what you're running here, Lou."

'Listen, pal, Happy Hour was over ten minutes ago.'

Happy Hour legal loopholes!