Board Director Pillows

'What bothers me is that we all look so successful.'

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"The meeting will come to order."

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Gay Times...

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'