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"Well, looks like it's time for eyeglasses."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

The Buck Never Stops.

Pop Culture for Teens

Bureaucracy gone mad!

"You do have your own way of enjoying the garden, don't you?"

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

Doctor surrounded by notes.

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed mini-mall site, but that I'm not as familiar with your galaxy's zoning laws as I'd like to be.'

"What's this? Now we have to hunt, gather and collate?"

GPs could be forced to switch IT systems onto new NHS digital contract

'Word has it that you have an ulcer, Tomkins. Nice going! You'll find an extra 20 bucks in your paycheck.'

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT.

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

'He wants some hair restorer for his birthday.'

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

'Strong wind from the west tonight.'

Bureau of Red Tape

"I think she's having a Spontaneous Paperwork Induced Collapse."

"Someday my grant will come."

"Ambitions... to finish on the winning side for a change."

'All these stupid forms! -- You self-employed guys make me sick!'

The mazes were too easy, so now they have me running through bureaucracies and looking for grants. (Originally published on 2007-10-18).

"When even the abominable snowman has had enough, its time for us to turn back."

"In principle we're happy with the trust idea...as long as it's properly monitored and regulated!"

'When I die, please cremate me and send my ashes to the tax office. . .Write on the envelope, 'Now, you have everything.''

'You have a good chance of recovery, if you can make it through hospital admissions.'

'...or you could fill out this Form 666 and get a filing extension for all eternity.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but this particular loophole is only for the use of Federal employees.'

"More government regulations, Mr. Maslin?"

"The doctor's nurse's nurse practitioner will see you now."

Skills and experience held back by bureaucracy and protocols.

'Yes, normally, carrots are good for you eyes, but in your case they only increase your sense of smell.'