Blockbuster Follower T-Shirts

There's nothing awesome to see at the movies these days. What're you talking about? Avengers 2 just came out. I know. It's been out for like an entire weekend. It's old news. The next blockbuster is "Mad Max," and that's not out until the 15th! Hollywood is totally neglecting the entire May 4th-to-May-15th window! That kind of gaping hole is unconscionable. You can always watch "In the Name of My Daughter."

Film Festival. Events. Screenings. Ernie attends these festivals in costume. He's gone over to the dork side!

"Of course I'm dressed like a cheap w***e! It's Halloween! Duhh!"

Can't Touch This

"Stick Figure" "Stick Figure II" "Stick Figures" "Stick Figure: The Reawakening"

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

Now Playing at the Europlex

Movies vs. Films

The Mummy's Purse...

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

THE WICKERMAN (Hollywood style)

Computer wheeled down red carpet at film premiere. TV presenter says: 'Now, at last, here comes the real star of the movie!'

"Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by a string of great hollywood blockbusters."

Atomic Bear: Part 26

Christopher Nolan caricature

The Directors Gut.

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

'No sequel? No movie version? Just read me the big money makers like 'Harry Potter'.'

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Friday The 13th, The Final Chapter.

"That script of yours - I've never read such a load of cliched second-rate crap...It'll make us rich..."

Best Special Effects Award

Jaws 3 - The Litigation

"He's the exception: a fly on the wall who made it big in blockbuster movies."

Ladmag - Caution, immature content.

God throwing bricks on city

"So have you been watching Bridgerton?"

"Honey, It's Steven and he's talking sequel!"

Aqua Cool

Leonardo DiCaprio

"The role is subtly nuanced and the person we choose has to bring a sense of 'lots of money for the producers' to the part."

"Two directors, three adaptations plus 3-D, and they STILL screw it up!"

"I think Fifi has starred in enough videos for a while."

Maps to celebrities courtside seats

We had a presidential preference poll in school today -- Spongebob Squarepants won.