Blackboard Thinker Pillows

"It's unified and it's a theory but it's not the unified theory we've all been looking for."

The Googler

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'My name is Jeremy and I approved this message.'

'I say, let's not be hasty in enforcing the mandatory retirement age.'

'It's lonely at the top unless you count lawyers.'

As a matter of fact, it IS rocket science.

'It's a foolproof formula for writing grant applications.'

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'Very impressive, Newcombe. Over at Liberal Arts we still have trouble with the multiplication table.'

"I strongly feel we need to start thinking inside the box again."

I will not waste chalk kid...

"Let's see if I understand: your brain can't be upgraded with additional memory, and to make matters even worse, untold thousands of those brain cells die each day?"

"It's a clear case of RLS: Repetitive Lecture Syndrome."

'That's from the last year the data was available.'

"Is that it? Is that the Grand Unified Theory?"

"I don't think outside the box. . .I own the box."

Cutting down the Brain

"Look, let's just say I haven't seen anything, Charlie hasn't heard anything, and Tom hasn't said anything."

"That's the finest vacuum cleaner you've ever designed."

'What did you do?'

Teacher with wing-mirror on blackboard.

Mime artist reading: 'Thinking Outside the Invisible Box.'

'This isn't a BREAKTHROUGH, Colbert! This is a CIRCULAR REASONING! All you've done here is re-state our original objective.'