Black-and-white Thinker Pillows

'I just hate how everyone sees everything as black or white!'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"We'll destroy it to the ground ... ...and then..."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"Some Debussy, Igor."

Joe's Bar: Not Responsible For Lost or Stolen Intellectual Property.

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"So I bought this doohickey that is very good with chaos."

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

Man read's Newton's 'Philosophiae Naturalis Principa Mathematica' and says: 'Blimey Isaac, this is, er, pretty heavy stuff.'

"Let's see if I understand: your brain can't be upgraded with additional memory, and to make matters even worse, untold thousands of those brain cells die each day?"

Ceiling Paint

'Dear editor, today I saw the first cuckold of spring...' (Divorce Lawyer).

'It's terribly frustrating. For 37 years he's been trying to prove that things equal to the same thing are not equal to each other.'

Cutting down the Brain

"As your first novel, it starts out badly and just falls away!"

Macroscope

Brain versus Religion.

You People

Maybe the economy just looks like it's shrinking because the universe is expanding!

Even if you're a CEO at a big corporation, you're still just a CEO at a big corporation.

"If you ask me, we're all the problem."

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

'Come to think of it, I don't dream in colour either.'

Paint-By-Letters.

"As C.E.O., I try to look at the big picture, while J.G., as president, sees to the day-to-day operations."

'Sometimes it's good to see the big picture.'

"Any side effects aside from ringing in the ears?"

'Then I say to myself, 'What's the use? There isn't any Nobel Prize for math'.'

'I did some research on their reproductive system, and you know what? ? they're all copies of copies!'

'Research shows people of my age, ethnicity, height, weight, residential preference and income, invest in demographics.'

"That's his way of saving energy. He never turns it on."

Academic Jeopardy......'If we peg a value of five to irony, and we assign a value of two to sarcasm, then what numeral must we allot to disappointment?'

"A tiny speck of hope!"

"Yours lacks focus."