Black And White Art Admirer T-Shirts

'Come to think of it, I don't dream in colour either.'

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

'Evidently, one of them was a cartoonist!'

Picasso: The Early Years

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

Cats at private view

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

Surreal ale

Mimi's final scene

I painted them all from memory.

"What did Jesus order?"

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

Man blending in to his chair is reading Optical Illusion Monthly magazine.

Diego Velasquez

Joe Biden

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

Phoenix

Kultural K9's.

Tragedy, Comedy & Selfie.

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

'Must be the lesser known Easter Egg Island.'

When cartoonists drink too much coffee.

Shell Fire

"Feel better, dear?"

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

The Thinker?