
You're too enamored of wealth, Al. As it says in the Bible, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle that for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Is that a regular Camel, or does it have a filter tip?
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You're too enamored of wealth, Al. As it says in the Bible, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle that for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Is that a regular Camel, or does it have a filter tip?
Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!
"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."
"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"
'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'
'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'
"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."
"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"
The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.
"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"
'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'
"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."
"I've got writer's block."
Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.
"You call this a constitution?"
"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."
Adam and Eve on a Talk Show
"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"
"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."
Cleric with bible briefcase.
The World's Biggest Book Club
"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."
'Can I download that as a PDF?'
'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'
"What did Jesus order?"
10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.
"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."
"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"
'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'
'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'
"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"
"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"
"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"
King Solomon's Pollster.
Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.
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