Bestseller Dreamer Gifts

Ted knew he had a bestseller. Now all he had to do was fill the middle bits in.

'I have high hopes of Wisden knocking the Da Vinci code off the top of the best sellers list.'

S.A.S. Plan of Attack

'Good news. You've been chosen to write a block buster!'

'Your story is extremely sexist, dubious and dumb, the characters are one-dimensional and primitive. In other words - you wrote a bestseller, mister!'

'Oprah wants your book for her book club. Shall I tell her to go to hell?'

"I need some help to write my self-help book..."

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

"Ambitions... to open an office on Mars. Kennedy Space Center."

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"You think you're a monster because you have poor self image."

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

"Do you ever feel like you were meant for something else?"

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

'I considered running away, but since I'll probably be living at home until I'm 38, it's a bad career move.'

"I dreamt we got a 'sorry you were out' card."

Beat Fatigue - Stay in Bed.

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

Woman sat at desk whilst her shadow does her dream career of being an artist.

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

"Happy Birthday!"

The artist wakes refreshed, creative juices flowing.

Angel Music

'Man asleep in double bed with a pencil.'

Sleeping Beauty.

'No, Adam, 'awesome' is not an acceptable choice of what you want to be when you grow up.'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.