Best Man At A Wedding Pillows

Not The Best Man

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'I always cry at weddings!'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

"Nobody told me it was a dress down wedding day!"

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

Speech

"Just one more round guys...then I've got to get back to the church!"

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

'Just three pieces of cake for 200 hundred guests?'

'And do you, James, believe you deserved that beating Annie gave you for inviting your ex-girlfriend to the wedding.'

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

Wedding Selfie

'I still say it was a mistake having the ceremony TOO close to his stag night!'

"Boy am I in trouble! How was I supposed to know that what I was scratching is called a "Wedding Dress"? She's so mad right now!"

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

Why we toast before we start drinking (Best man very drunk).

'And do you, Desiree, take plan B to be your lawfully wedded...'

'If anyone objects to this union, Tweet now or forever hold your peace.'

'Can we just do this pass-fail?'

"Let's make it a few minutes longer and add more inside jokes."

"Unaccustomed as I am to public squeaking…"

'It will be a big wedding, I invited all 2679 of my facebook friends,'

'Hang on a minute! I'm suposed to be the best man.'

'Can you fix a flat ...I'm getting married at three.:

"I guess I just always imagined I'd be givin' you the perfect shotgun wedding."

'I'm the bride's ex boyfriend. Before she says yes, can I just tell her that I've just won the lottery jackpot?!'