Bedtime Story T-Shirts

You are unique... unless there's a parallel universe.

". . . Then she married the wealthiest man in the word and they lived happily ever after, all be it separately."

"That's it?! Boy exploits tree, tree suffers? Shel Silverstein was nuts!"

"Oh, Aunt Em, it wasn't a dream. It was a place. And you and you and you ... and you were there. But not that man with the straitjacket."

Then Cinderella married the Prince and had to learn how to dodge the paparazzi.

"We learn an important lesson from all this - from curds and whey, and pease porridge, and bread and honey. Eat natural foods."

"Couldn't Pinocchio get a phone signal after he was swallowed by the whale?"

Late night teddy reading

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'She's just great with the children.'

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

'At lone at last.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

Why don't you ever like to spoon?