Bedtime Broadcaster Mugs

'Well, that's it - you can wake up now, it's time for bed!'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Late night teddy reading

Swan Fairy Tales

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

'Where was the TSA?'

The Poky Little Pupa.

'She's just great with the children.'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

"I'm not napping yet, but I am getting ready to with a pre-nap warm up."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

Bed Seasons

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

"Time for bed, guys."

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"