Bear Negotiator T-Shirts

'For heaven's sake, Claudia. Give him the tuna fish sandwiches!'

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

'There. See? Your buddy is OK. Now show us our guy before we make the swap.'

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

"Ambitions . . . never, ever to eat broccoli again."

'Whenever I need a little peace and quiet, I do without,'

'Damn it, he's lawyered up! By the time this works its way through the courts he'll be out of season!'

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

'If you let me read the SPORTS section, I just may consider moving.'

"You call it training, I call it an apprenticeship. Now pay up."

"There, are you happy?"

'Management says we've had it too good for too long. They're demanding concessions.'

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

A Young Girl And Her Pet Cat.

'Listen, I obeyed more or less 25% of your commandments. Don't you think that I deserve a promotion or at least a little raise for that?'

'Ok, they want a year's supply of meal, no more shearing, just trimming and our own barn. But until then, this camera and the pictures of your 'date with Daisy' stay with me.'

Woman tries to pray for the rain to end.

'I assume this comes with performance based bonuses and a superannuation package?'

"You always said I could be what ever I want to be. I want to be someone who doesn't eat vegetables."

No Consensus Beyond This Point.

"We'd like a building where a sweet little cairn terrier can bark once in a while without the neighbor's getting absolutely hysterical."

'I'd like to get a new cat but I have a husband.'

"A spot near the almighty!"

'It's his bath night, but he also wanted to watch tv.'

Animal Conference

'Let's be realistic, Dad. How can I compete in the global economy without a raise in my allowance?'

"If I take you to the park, will you tell me where you buried my 9-iron?"

"It's the people downstairs complaining about the noise again."