Bathroom Hero Mugs

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

Whack-a-molecule

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

Moses unblocking the toilet.

' ... and this is the half bath.'

The new global mantra flag for the future

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

"No Hand Sanitiser"

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"

The Tragedy of Prosperity

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

Lord of the Rings: Two Towels

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

'Glass of hot water please, I want to wash the cutlery'

'He can dish it out but can he take it?'

Cinderella mopping up

"Just when they thought it was safe to go back in the water, the great fish emerged from below."

"Looks like Billy clogged up the toilet again."

John Snow

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

Fair readers, please accept these personal tips for remaining healthy and germ free. Public service announcement! Keep your stress low. Exercise, eat right, hydrate and try to get a little affection in your life, if you get my meaning. If you use someone else's computer, wipe down the keyboard with alcohol to kill the germs. Ditto with the mouthpiece of a borrowed cellular phone. Don't touch anything or anyone. Bathe yourself in hand sanitizer. Don't leave the house, and if you do, don't inhale

"It's almost flu season! Stay indoors! Touch no one!"

"Stop right there. Some things we know without being told...like the benefits of scraping your tongue."

"Well, it certainly looks like your DNA. How many times have I told you to wear gloves before touching anything?"

'Why can't you be like other men and just sing in the bath?'