Bathrobe Bon Vivant Pillows

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

'Don't clean me up too good... no one will recognize me.'

Bach in a Hot Tub!

How to recover from a bad day

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

'It's not the alcohol I crave, it's the social life.'

Mozart swimming.

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

"It's only sexy if the faucet isn't on your side."

Grooming for beginners.

Dirty Old Man

'Have you seen my lucky shower cap?'

"What if we put the solid granite Jacuzzi on the first floor?"

'Look out kids, here comes Basil Rathbone.'

"That's cute, but you'll never realize your phone's ringing in here if your ringtone's a belch."

'I don't know how I got rid of mildew before Henry got me the flamethrower.'

Psychiatric Hogwash...

'Is this the open house?'

"You have no idea what I've been through."

"More like 95% off!"

Actualities - Having at last found a way of passing the summer of 1857 pleasantly

'Which colony do you belong to buddy?'

'Every time I try to make taking a bath fun, you get mad!'

Asian Travel: 'Absolutely do NOT book anyplace without a western toilet!'

A man has died while having a shower and has turned up in Heaven naked and not amused.

'All clear!'

Pumice Stone Accidents.

'We're having a bit of a problem with the drainage in our bathroom. . .How soon can you get somebody out to us?. . .Have you got anything earlier than Tuesday?'