Barbarian Aficionado T-Shirts

"You have to accept some people for what they are and avoid them."

Conan the Librarian: A Low Budget Sequel.

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Stephen Spender.

Gunter Grass

wattle covers

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

General Meade's Army, Near Culpepper - Shaving in Camp

The Beard in the Stone

Antonio Vivaldi

Noel Coward.

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

'Long shift?'

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

Ironing Punctuation

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

Sherlock Holmes Museum: No Hounds.

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

My Literary Influences

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

Last Chance For Reality

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

Library

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."