Bar Chart Aficionado Pillows

Motivational tip #731: Appeal to their sense of entitlement.

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

Soaring Profits

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

Business is off the chart.

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

Gloat

A guide to seasons in the North East

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

'This chart shows how much time we waste every day looking at charts.'

Out.

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

'If you're out of quarterly earnings, I'll take the assets and liabilities breakdown.'

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'