Band Auditionee T-Shirts

"You're a great musician, but you don't fit in with out image."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

'They all want to play the star.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

'I was up for a part in the Producers...'

"Which part are you reading for?"

"If you want to sing in our band, you'll have to overcome your fear of using double negatives."

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

I can't wait 'til her tryouts for "Cats" are over.

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

Presenter Auditions.

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

"Sorry, dude. . . but you just don't fit into our group!"

X Factor contestant dressed as a 'Y'.

"You've been offered a role as a husband who's been married for thirty years."

Casting Director

Ventriloquist Audition

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

"A P.R. Intern Named Salome with the Head Shot of John the Client."

'Congratulations. All but one of you has been short listed.'

"Quiet? I'd even read for the understudy part for someone who is between engagements."

"This isn't his audition...he's telling us about being an actor."

'So, did I get the job?'

"Sorry Mr. Gross, Mr. DeVries, but the firm has decided to go with the earthy, down-home fingerpicking of Ms. Aimee Parker-Grossman."

"This could be fun! Don't you do magic tricks, Cruz?"

She's a natural.

'To be honest Mr Gregson, I've seen better escapologists, goodnight.'

"Remember, you're a 17-year old fashion model. Now go out and act like you've never acted before."

"This is a blind audition, right?"

Graham really wanted to play Joseph, but deep down he knew what part he'd get again.