Bad Driver Sympathizer T-Shirts

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

Tolls: Must have exact change and tails up.

Car wash / Mouth wash

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

'Would you watch where you're going already.'

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

'Honey, I just ran into the store. Did you need me to pick anything up while I'm here?'

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

Mysteries of Life

'We can exchange information, or, if you prefer, I can punch you in the face and forget the whole thing ever happened.'

'Okay. Where's the fire?'

"I think I'm getting road rage."

Control Freaks, Clueless Numbskulls, Passive-Aggressives

'I don't care what you say lad.....I say he was speeding!'

Dartford Crossing, Pay in Advance for your Inevitable Queue.

Andrew's own nose cuts him off just to spite his face.

"Take two, twice a day to help control rage. By the way, I put them in a child-proof bottle and overcharged you."

'Dad, I passed my drivers test!'

"I decided to ticket you 'cause I'm bored again."

Traffic jam - 'I wish I could go fast enough to get caught by a speed camera.'

'What? -- you were picked up for reckless driving by the Coast Guard?'

"I got a ticket in California for asking a lactose intolerant woman to say cheese, before taking her picture."

'First things first, son. 'Clunk-click, every trip.'' 'Oh, yes! Stereo on, insert disc.'

Road sign at busy junction reads: 'Give Up'.

'I collided with this stationary truck coming the other way!'

NO PARKING, from here to eternity.

'How come all the bad drivers follow you around?'

'Safety' Cameras are not for profit.

'I just want to know where I can find a parking space in the city centre this afternoon.'

'...somebody must be making a fortune!'

'We must be getting near the docks, dearest - you're hitting more sailors.'