Back-to-school Humor Lover Pillows

'No. I left my watch at home along with my freedom.'

A Puppet Named Juan

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

Master's Degrees of the Universe

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

"I don't like a school year that begins with 'while you were out'."

String Theory for Beginners.

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"Oh well, if you really want to see some scary chest thumping, come with me now and I'll show my school report to my dad..."

Billy strip: help with homework.

It makes no sense. The number of books that can be stored on a small device is constantly increasing, yet school kids seem to be lugging around bigger backpacks every year!

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'