Baby Welcomer T-Shirts

SOARING BILL

"His first out-of-body experience."

Santa Claus's Mail

'The child is very illogical'

Swinging on a star.

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Botany Baby!

'Hm-m-m - it sleeps most of the time. I think it must be some kind of cat.'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"Congratulations—It's a well dressed boy."

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

Baby Screen Time

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

A family trying to make a child smile for a photo

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

"Yeah, I'm still scared of it too, but the worst part is that it seems to be GROWING...."

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

'It makes baptisms a lot more fun for everyone.'

Stork and baby discover scarecrows

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"Which one's yours?"

Bedtime story.

Apricots