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"So, what was the first word uttered?"

'The child is very illogical'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

"He looks just like your husband."

Maternity Ward

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

'How many fingers do you see?'

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

Bouncing baby

'It's a chicken.'

'I started off as a single cell and now I'm in one.'

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'