Automated Service Navigator Prints

'While on hold, press #1 for classical music. Press #2 for rock music. Press #3 for country music. Press #4 for...'

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

"Ya, right. Who needs a web presence. I'll just compete in the global economy from here."

"You don't use a search engine for an Easter egg hunt."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

Number Phobia.

'Apparently Wednesday is early conciliation day.'

Oceanographer

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

"After giving them the runaround for five minutes, pass them on to anger management."

"No internet connection"

What passes today for 'nose in a book'.

"To hear the sounds of the seas press 1, for all other options, or, to speak with a customer advisor, please press 2."

'I was working on my online degree, until my computer went on sabbatical.'

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

'The train due to arrive at platform 2 will now arrive at platform 19.'

'I helped write the new tax code and even I don't understand it.'

'Backseat driver...'

"I just want Velveetaaaaaaa!"

The straw that broke the camels back!

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

Arrivals: 'Check out our web site at www.air.arr'Departures: 'Check out our web site at www.air.dep'

"Looks like mum's preparing to go on social media."

All Roads Lead To Rome.

Yingluck Shinawatra - first female prime minister in Thailand

'Please Miss, I know what comes before 8. My school bus!'

Lav Nav

Sat Nav - Directions Through The House.

'I said use your toolbar, NOT your crowbar.'