Auto Specifications Prints

"What part of ‘Porsche 911 Targa 4S with direct fuel injection and VarioCam Plus’ don’t you understand?!"

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"It took a lot of work to build this car..."

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

Nice park. . .

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

A man drives a car with the word "LAWYER" painted backwards on the front hood so that it can be read in the rear-view mirrors of other cars.

'Nice smile.'

“Mileage is great, but I need to customize the leg holes.”

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

TS Motors Inc.

'The car dealership is letting me buy an expensive sports car, one piece at a time. I decided to buy the steering wheel first.'

"It's redesigned to handle rolling over."

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'

QUICK OIL CHANGE & FLU SHOT

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

"This one contains our tailgating deterrent feature."

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

Car dealers free hotdogs - "The best I can do is mustard and relish, ketchup and onions are optional."

"You seem like just the kind of guy who would be right at home in one of these fjord explorers."

"Seat belts unfastened? Excellent."

Useless car accessories.

'Don't let any SUV's pass us.'

'Any chance of making this a 'catch and release', officer?'

A 'failed' brake check!