Auto Jumble Junkie T-Shirts

Unfinished project at the auto jumble.

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

'No enemies, Miss, could you give men a list of his friends?'

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"GPS wants me to stay put."

Custom Cruiser Magazine Reader Survey: Do you own a lowrider?"

"We took away your right to vote on taxes. You voted 'no' too often."

Waking the Dead.

Birdhouse Garage

'I gotta be honest with you. . . I wouldn't be in business if it weren't for smart folks like you who can't pass up a bargain on stuff they don't need.'

Al's Junk: Now selling Russian Govt. Bonds!

Josh tests his theory that by driving backward through a quick-pass toll lane, he can get money ADDED to his credit card account.

What's in your back seat? Nothing. There's paper everywhere, and dirty clothes, and something that smells like a drunk threw up and then rolled around in it. That looks like ancient cheese. Introducing: The flaw. You haven't cleaned this since the '90s. Big whoop.

Magnetic North

"I hate it hen the red oil light comes on!"

"Someday, Son, this unnecessary and outdated stuff will all be yours."

"Excellent company car. Especially if you work from home."

Throwing away your brain

'We shouldn't have any trouble in keeping a balanced portfolio!'

"One day at a time, Ethel, I take it one day at a time. So far this year, it has been the usual assortment of useless junk. Last week, he located a dump scow, and he spent all this week dragging a 1929 Ford engine block out of the river. . ."

Red car

"I'm a petrol head, doctor, I've got cars on my mind 24/7..."

Al's Junkfood Restaurant next to Al's Junkyard.

Junk food next to junk yard.

Car Insurance - I know you haven't had an accident in 15 years...you're about due one.

Garage Sales

'Got any heavy metal, squire?'

"It's Joe's junk yard. He wants to buy some air time on the trashiest show we've got."

"Do you have any idea how funny you were driving?"

'I think he just heard Harbaugh vs. Harbaugh one too many times.'

Are you going to wax your car, Frank? No --- I don't want to finish something I can't start. (Published originally on November 5, 2007.)

"Deals in junk....talks a load of rubbish."

Antiques Roadkill.